February 20^th

Well, we got power back this morning, or at least by the time I returned from UCI. Quite a bit to talk about. First, thank you to my family and others who wrote in support of whatever I decide to do. This morning I went to UCI to go to their worship service they have every Thursday AM, and to teach in the PM. It turns out that all the teachers were just leaving for town, in the same car I had just arrived in, to join the nursing students in the hospital as they go on rounds. This just added to my feelings about going home. I feel peripheral. I know that I could become less peripheral if I went to the hospital (they did not suggest it), but I don’t want to. I have already seen the differences we have about some aspects of medicine, and I don’t want to get into difficulties about those differences. If I became involved that way, it would be a huge leap, and one I don’t want to make. I came here to teach, but not get into medicine. Also, I am costing them resources. Even though I am paying for the car to take me to and from Keframa, it is very rough road and very hard on the car. Sam is driving the car to Kampala today for some “major repairs.”

Peter, the assistant director, and I were the only teachers there. He and I began a conversation, and I told him that I am thinking about leaving early because Sharry’s mother is having medical problems and I need to go help. He said he understood, and told me that his mother had surgery this week on a meningioma in her brain, and that he had to come up with 5 million shillings (about $2,600) to pay for it (down from 14). He also talked about how difficult it is to not be where she is. Another of god’s little pranks.

I continue to think that it is miraculous what they (Augustine, JF, Sam, all the players) have done and are doing here. It’s just that I am not contributing anything by being here, except “cross-cultural understanding” which is not enough for me. Perhaps if I were here with Sharry I would have lasted longer. We would both know the realities of the situation and we could encourage each other. But her being here was not possible, and I understand why. The people here, the Ugandans, are wonderful: warm, kind, loving, resourceful. But that is not enough. I would not trade the fact of my coming here for anything. But it is time for me to go.

So at 11 AM they began the worship service. I was listening from where I was in the library. It was a very Pentecostal service, with everyone shouting their prayers at the same time. I’m sorry. I cannot withhold judgment. It is a different reality.

As you can see, I (it, the situation) am crumbling fast. Not to worry – I will make it home fine. It’s just that I may speed up the timetable. As I said, I already spoke with Peter, and I just now spoke with Susan, here at home. I will write to Augustine, JF, and Sam. I am going home to help Shar with her mother. I also spoke to Ian by phone and told him, and that I would like to get together with them this weekend to talk about it. I also asked them if I could ride with them to Kampala when they go.

Also not to worry, I still have a few things in my little orange book to write about and I will.